TV news: horror broadcasting live
Gratitude, a potent antidote

I had always been one of those parents who urged their children to watch the evening news with us from a very early age.  I thought that instead of re-telling the little red riding hood before going to bed, it would be much more educational to be up to date with what is happening in the world around us.  I believed that this would help my kids enhance their knowledge, exercise their judgement and be sensitive to the global issues so many youngsters are completely unaware of.  And it worked.  All these good things happened - for some time. 

Something also happened however that I had not anticipated.  My kids cultivated really acute empathy and very strong ownership for the problems of people all around the world.  We got to a point where my eldest one would accuse me of owning a car – whereas I could be using the bus – at times when hunger and disease are affecting millions.  I was to drive across the city every time I wanted to dispose of any electrical or electronic waste so as to reach the designated location (can I do this without a car?  I don’t know), because safe disposal would reduce the pollution of underground water strata.  I was to keep even broken (and potentially dangerous) glass at a carton box because it had to be recycled.  I was to pay for the ballet classes of their friends if they couldn't afford them, because I could and it felt unfair.  I didn’t mind doing any of these - and many more to be sure – however I realized that the exposure I had given them at such tender age was too much to handle.  It was too much of a burden for them.  They felt like they (we) had to solve all the world’s problems.  They were ashamed to be doing so little while having so much. 

I realized that I needed to find an antidote.  I was once told that our hearts are hard, soft or strong.  I needed to turn their soft hearts into strong ones.  I needed to make them resilient.  In this context, I started cultivating the notion of gratitude.  I tried to empower them by encouraging them to feel gratitude for what we had and to use their material, mental and emotional strength to help others in any way they could but without draining themselves.  Very slowly (admittedly), they started to see that we can’t offer to others something that we don’t have ourselves.  So the answer is not to turn our backs on whatever we may be fortunate enough to possess but to choose how to use our resources wisely to the benefit of both ourselves and our societies.  It takes a long time to digest this notion if you have led yourself to the extremes of caring and giving and especially when these actions are accompanied by the sense that whatever you do will never suffice.  Nevertheless, practicing gratitude is the only way to do it.  Clearly the answer to poverty and suffering is not for us to deny any sort of wealth, but rather to generate it and handle it accordingly.  Instead of giving up money and material possessions, it’s better to own some and have a say on how you use them.  Obtain it with integrity and manage it with love. 

A year ago, I started paying close attention to the news broadcasted on our tv screens.  Of course I can’t claim to know the policies of every tv channel around the globe, however it seems to me that the news have largely turned into a broadcasting of an ongoing horror movie. Bad news (or really bad news rather) crushingly outnumber the good ones.  Why?  There are so many wonderful inventions and interventions.  There is so much innovation, breakthrough in science.  There is so much kindness.  Why do we only hear of war, conflict, problems, suffering and the odd case of a problematic person, on the other side of the planet, slaughtering their entire family? Why do we need to be told of all the horrific details?  To gossip?  To judge?  To feel guilt and shame?  To feel better about ourselves not being those people?  Some are private matters and are not for us to discuss over coffee with our friends.  Others, of course, require reflection.  Why don’t we ever hear of the people who have saved their entire family?  Are they rarer?  I don’t think so. 

Through tv and the news we are depicting a world far worse than it really is.  We expose the malice and perversion and we cultivate fear, anger and hopelessness.  I don’t want to turn a blind eye on the world’s problem.  But I also don’t like my kids growing up feeling fearful, doubtful and helpless.  My wish and plea is that the tv channels would balance in their news broadcasts both the ugly and the beautiful side of life and of people.  I wish that through their programs they would start to send the message that in life there is not only suffering but also genuine joy.  To raise grateful kids, we need to show them things, people, actions and behaviors that they can be grateful about.  We need to direct them to news that will make them proud of the human race, for all its shortfalls.