A house of obsession, or a home of expression

By Koralia Timotheou*

When I was little, my favorite hiding place was my grandma’s formal dining room. It was, by far, the largest room in the house and the least used one. It occupied roughly one fourth of the house and was a strictly restricted area. Its doors opened for large events only and we kids were, of course, attracted to it for this very reason. Under the large dining table was my sanctuary, where I would crawl with my flashlight and pocket book to read uninterrupted. Nobody would even dream of looking for me there!

Beautiful, happy mess was dominant in the rest of the house, but not in there. That room was always clean, tidy and permanently reserved for the rare occasion. My granny, as so many of her contemporaries, held a house that was ¾ for her family and everyday living and ¼ for someone else, something else, some other day.

Of course there is no such concern with apartments in large cities. However, do they stand and function 100% for us? Do we utilize every single inch as we would like to? Do they reflect our personality? Are they there for good impression? Are they used for free expression? Are they really our homes?

Let’s agree that the monetary value of the house itself or the fittings and furniture are irrelevant. There are certain other characteristics to the genuine home.

Decluttered (light)

Whether small or spacious it may not be entirely up to us. However, do we need or love all the stuff that’s in it? Decluttering is all about getting rid of what we (family members) have no use or affection for. They take up space and energy. They make cleaning and tidying difficult. They suffocate us without even realizing it. They don't belong. New owners may make better use of them.

Bright (light up)

Walking around the neighborhood, at any time or day, most houses have their shutters shut. Isn’t that depressing us?  Isn’t it isolating us from the world? Doesn’t it make us lonely and miserable? Doesn't it build a distance between us and our neighbors? How about opening our windows to sunlight and life?

Adaptable (forgiving)

We sometimes make an issue out of a stain on the couch. We scold the kids or secretly fume at that clumsy guest who spilled the wine. How about buying a cheaper sofa? It can still be elegant and we can easily change it when it gets too dirty or worn. This can help us actually be more forgiving.

Safe (& secure)

When I was a college student, my flat mate and I returned home from school one day to discover that our apartment was broken into. Stuff was stolen and that was a real practical problem but the biggest loss of all was the loss of safety which was replaced by an uneasy feeling of intrusion in our private space.

Security is unnegotiable and so is safety.

Home accidents are a major cause of injury. Even though they cannot be completely eliminated, they can be reduced. Decluttered, considerate homes with secure fittings make life safer and easier.

Expressive (free)

We set up the majority of our spaces as we wish but do we let our kids decorate their rooms as they want? Do we allow them to make graffiti on their walls? Even if shared, their bedroom is their own little space where they can keep to themselves, ponder on their thoughts and reboot if they need to. Can’t they express themselves freely in there? Won’t they benefit from the sense of freedom and ownership? It doesn't really affect the rest of the house. As an added bonus they may not feel so inclined to smudge other people’s property.

Buried in our own houses, we keep forgetting that our ancestors only made them to protect themselves from wild animals and the weather. Not to spend their entire life hiding in them.

*www.koraliatimotheou.com